After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
