Dual....:-)
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
