Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
