Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
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I need moral support for this bender
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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