I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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