May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
