when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
