Just fell off a train. Bad.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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