if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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