I am in a vortex of obligation.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
