Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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