do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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