i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize