are you so shy because you have an std?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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