I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
