The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize