i need an iv and a liver transplant
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize