Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm bleeding and have questions
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
