I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize