someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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