How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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