Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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