i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
please come you make the beer taste better
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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