DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
