I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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