I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
