Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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