We are two peas in an std pod
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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