I don't think brook has ever known best
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
