You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
