We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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