I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
