It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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