So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
do herpes really smell.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
