I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
