did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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