Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
