i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize