Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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