I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize