It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
