I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
