we have officially lost it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
