suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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