Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize