i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dating After Heartbreak
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?