Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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