soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill