Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.