I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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