I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
