these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
