Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize