My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize