Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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