I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize