How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
