worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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