worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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