I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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