you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
