he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
