I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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