i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
