we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I party with great urgency now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
