I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize