that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
