So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
