I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
