We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
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This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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