By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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