so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
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