It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
