dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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