I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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